starting a new focus

18th July 2004
 
end of another chapter...
whats next...a new one....( " , )
 
there is this guy i'v known for quite some time....
 i've always been a lilSis/shoulder to cryOn kinda a person to him....
he's quite the romantic type i tell ya....
this is of course judging from the things he did for this particular girl he has his eyes on...
lets give them  names....
 
this pasticular guy_Saviour (ahahahahaahah..tell u why in a bit)
the girl he's after _ FuckinBlind
 
saviour had the hearts for fuckinBlind  for ages...think since last year....
both FuckinBlind n saviour r in my circle of frends
 
description of FuckinBlind....she's one of those "perempuan melayu akhir" that guys dig to have as a wife....
soft spoken....really sleepy eyes...n blur....
not only does she looks like that...she even is that...sleepyNBlur...i'm not kiddin...
but saviour loves her to bitts...so i'm not complaining.....
i don't know why but saviour never talks about this to anyone Xcept me....n till now...noOne knows because fuckinBlind has a Bf in my circle of frends as well....
 
FuckinBlind is still wit her Bf...even though he treats her like shit (haven't we all been there....hehehe)..
the worst part...saviour comes into her life....sweeps her off her feet....only to realize its not worth it....because all FuckinBlind sees in saviour is just that...a saviour of the moment..
the moment that Bf of hers was buzy doing other things....n now that that Bf  is somehow back to earth..she turns right to him....literaly dumping what she had wit Saviour...(sad huh)....
 
he took it quite badly...lookin shitty an all
it was hardWork to put him back to his two feet....
in my personal opinion she was leading her on...
n that SUCKS!
 
the thing is....
i was imagininng this guy is going thru shit
because he fell deeply in love wit someone...n that his heart was broken because he finally found someOne to love but cannot love..(u know the soapySide of a love story...right)
 
but get this....
he was so pathethic n sad n all..the whole time...
all because the idea that he's back at square one...n that he's ALONe
n that he knew about the Bf n also the fact that FuckinBlind will always b wit her Bf...
 
n i'm like....huh?
did i miss somethin?...
u knew all along... n u  still went thru shit....
 
i don't get it....
i mean he knew the ending but went right thru it anyways...
n i didn't hear a word about "she's the love of my life"..thingi...
the more i hear him talk about the aftermath ...the more i realize.....
he just wanted company....wanted someone he could care n hangAround...
n that the idea of being alone...scares the shit outta him...
mmmmm...
 
is being alone that scary?...
i don't get it...
for a second there...judging fron the things he's done for her...
the 1000miles he went for her....
don't tell me..its all because he doesn't want to b lonely?
or is it because he's in denial?
 
isn't being in love wit some one n havin someone close By to avoid beling lonely
two different things?
 
4.40pm
 

New Pair of Eyes

16th July 2004
 
my files to view are getting more piledUp day by day
i've even gotten two more eyes to help me out here...
i might just even come over to the office over the weekend
what a supeProductive workaholic person i've become.....
 
either that or i don't have a life.....
 
4.15pm

PureWhite

15 July 2004

i'm wearing white today...
ask anyone here...its not my usual colour..
i just felt its a good day to look pure...
hopefully might just b
pure....

ever noticed that warmthGiddy feeling when u smile at a stranger..
felt it the whole way to work..
i let a passerBy cross n we both smiled at the same time..
i gave way for this elderly to pay up first...and his "thanks-wit-a-smile" meant something more than those LoudthankU's that u get from waitresses as u go out from some fancy restaurant...

maybe it is true
the best things in life r free.

8.30am

PurplyCurry

13July04

ChineseBro is right i guess...ignore all sad/crummy/crappyInfluences in this life...
u know i don't need to b nice to everyOne...like said....why not block her email?...heheh.
u have no idea how tempting that is...

i fell for a guy...
fell for a frend...
a goodFrend..
okay-okay...
a "can't-Live-Without" frend..but

like all events n matters in this life...nothin is certain...
i don't have all the answer..he says...
n so he's right...we don't...
n so all said n done...nothin went further than that
a "can't-Live-Without" frend...

but hey...its okay...
like i told him...
its not the end of the world...no one died...spiderman 2 is still making loads of money ( " , )...its okay...

just..a heart got broken....happends eveyday...hope she's worth it
so all said n Done...n so its the "reacting to shit that happends" mode

but this "ShitsHapends" won't seem to want to go away
she keeps on emailing n detailing OUt her relationship with him..
which i don't need to know....especially now that i know all this while he had a Gf
i wouldn't have fallen if i'd knew earlier...

aaahCrap...
i've been talkin about this for the past few weeks...
bored...n pathethic...
enuff is enuff...
breath..thats what i tell mySelf
n stop whinning about it.

11.00am